Fat Be Gone Friday ::: Robyn's weigh in

I woke up to bad news today. The worst kind that you can get. One of our dear extended family members passed away. I don't want to go into too much detail. I will say however, that we believe that we will be together forever as a family someday. I'm thankful for my faith. But, it made me think about life. It made me think about health.

About 2 years ago I started to notice that I wasn't feeling well. I had rapid weight gain. I was always exhausted, I had heart palpitations. I just wasn't feeling like my normal self. My doctor did a MILLION tests. Everything came back normal. She also decided to send me to the cardiologist because of the heart palpitations. During an ultrasound of my carotid artery the tech noticed that my thyroid didn't look quite right. He told me that I should probably tell my primary care doctor so that I could have further testing. My thyroid labs had been normal but my Dr. sent me to have an ultra sound and to see an endocrinologist. They found 9 nodules (growths) on my thyroid. My endo describes 5 of them as large, the rest small the medium in size. I have had them biopsied twice. (Really long needles stuck into my neck, not a fun experience) No cancer was found. They started me on meds, and we are waiting and watching. I have an ultrasound every 3 months to make sure that they are not growing. The past year they have grown a tiny bit. The growth has been mostly liquid though and cancer is solid. My doctor is comfortable with letting me continue to wait as long as I come every 3 months. It's sort of like this big cloud hanging over my head. At first I used it as an excuse. It is common knowledge that one of the main symptoms of thyroid disease is weight gain.  I told myself that I couldn't lose weight. I was also diagnosed with pre-diabetes. I cried in the doctor's office when she told me. My dad was diabetic. It affected his health greatly. I gave him shots in his tummy for years. Then I decided to sort of sweep it under the carpet. I didn't want to think about it. I took my medications and just lived with it. 

When I started this weight loss journey I was more motivated by jeans with booty bling than pre-diabetes. It's hard to live in a chubby body. But, as I've been losing and feeling better I can't help but think about my health. They say that losing 10% of your weight is the first step to better health. I checked out my BMI today because I was curious. I'm embarrassed to write this but, I'm being real so I am currently obese. Big sad face. I have to lose 20 more pounds to just be overweight. Then 30 after that to be a healthy weight. That seems overwhelming. That's probably why I avoided it. But, I want to be healthy. I want to live a long life. I want grand babies and great grand babies. So, although booty bling still motivates me, so does pre-diabetes. I want to be healthy! I sadly can't change my thyroid nodules. However, I will cure myself of pre-diabetes. 

It seems to be slow going. I have a huge fear that the weight loss will stop. But, I am losing weight in spite of 9 nodules growing on my thyroid. I am so proud of that. 

This week I counted my calories and I worked out hard at the gym. I am changing my lifestyle. I don't really feel like I am dieting. I am living healthier.

I am down 1.4 pounds this week

for a total of 15 pounds

I'm never going to see those 15 pounds again. If I can do it you can too. It's for my hubby, for Gracie, Savannah, Bear, and Gunnar. It's for me. 

Me today, down 15 pounds, 55 more to go. :)