There’s this little part of me that wants to feel sorry for myself. A part that wants to say woe is me. This little part wants to dwell on my bad choices, to point out my flaws, and to be sad that my progress is slow. There is this whole other part of me though that is crushing that little negative voice in my head. This positive part of me is reminding me how hard I worked. I squeezed my curvy body into a swim suit and swam laps for the first time in years. I keep upping my incline, my resistance, and my intensity. I am becoming stronger and healthier. I made so many good choices, more good choices than bad ones. I am that type of girl though. I have to remind myself of the good I do and forgive myself for the bad. This is a huge part of my journey. I’m learning to believe in myself, to not make excuses, and to do hard things so that I can become better. I want this so bad. I want to look in the mirror wearing a great pair of jeans and feel the satisfaction of knowing that I worked hard to look phenomenal. I am starting to believe that it’s going to happen.
However sad I am that I am a curvy girl (I decided not to use the word chubby any more J), I am so grateful for this journey. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have, that when the time comes that I feel great about myself, I will know that I worked for it. I will be a better me in every aspect of life because I have travelled this road.
So, if nothing else I am consistent
I am down 1.5 pounds this week
For a total of 18 pounds.
Although a little part of me wants to be sad and wonder why it’s not coming off faster, I can’t be sad about that. I have lost every single week. I’m going to push a little extra this week to see if I can hit my 20 pounds. I want it so bad I can taste it. It tastes like lots of fruit and veggies and maybe just one cheeseburger or burrito thrown in during the week. J