A couple of weeks ago Hope sent me a text telling me she had blogged. She then followed it by saying that her blogs aren’t nearly as deep and meaningful as mine. I laughed out loud. No literally. Then I responded, “Yeah, just way more inspirational because you actually lose weight!” So, here we go again. Deep and meaningful? That’s questionable. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? That’s all I have to give.
I haven’t blogged in 3 weeks I think. My last blog I set some goals for myself. I’ve done pretty well with those. I have been counting my WW points and really paying attention to what I”m eating. I’ve also been really consistent going to the gym. I have been running a lot. I can now officially run a 5k on the treadmill. I’m slow. This week I went a little faster and ran a 12 min mile or 5 mph on the treadmill. I feel stronger. I feel more fit. I even got some real gym clothes. I’ve always been embarrassed in my sweat pants and t-shirts, but I didn’t feel ready for spandex. :) I got some good running capris and pants (yes with spandex) and wear long tank tops or shirts that keep my problem areas covered. I feel more like I belong there though and it seems to help me have a more positive experience. I’m still self conscious at the gym. I know it’s silly.
So, all of that being said, with pretty good eating and pretty good exercise, I am up 5 lbs for the last 3 weeks. :( I don’t really know what to say? I have been sad about it obviously. But, trying really hard not to let it get me down and trying really hard not to give up. I am a person of faith. So, I’ve been praying about it. Questioning, what should I do differently?
I was talking to a friend at church about it last week, and she suggested to me that maybe right now, I really need to focus on loving myself how I am, no matter what weight I am. That really hit home for me. So, this week, I’ve been trying really hard to change my attitude. To appreciate the things I like about myself, and to really focus on being thankful for my body in the now.
This is going to sound silly, but I’ve made more of an effort to make myself cute. I have been doing my hair (even though it’s 110), wearing make-up, and trying to dress cute. I feel so much better about myself if I feel cute. I know that seems so shallow. But, I’m a girl. I can’t tell you how many people this week told me how good I looked and how I look so thin. HA! I fooled them. :) But, really, I do feel better about myself. Maybe part of the reason I gained the weight back was because I didn’t learn to really love myself for who I am no matter what weight I am. Even at my lowest, I was unhappy with my body. So, I am still trying to lose weight of course. I’m not giving up. But, I’m also really focusing on how I feel about myself and trying to love myself how I am. A little make-up and a cute outfit and I can still feel good about myself. :)
I feel like my Father in Heaven is always so mindful of me and my needs. I’m so thankful for all of you who have reached out to me in the last week or so. I know that you are his hands and as you serve and love me you serve and love him. I am so touched. I have received countless texts and messages encouraging me and just telling me you love me. I’m so thankful to share my life with so many amazing people. I hope I give back even just a little of what I receive.
Bend, at it, sweat at it, smile at it too, because your body is a temple. :) I'm not giving up.
6 comments:
Okay, Robyn... this is ABSOLUTELY me. I could've written this exact post a couple months ago. (And here I am a few months later needing the uplift.)I hit Ross a few months ago and decided I wouldn't be able to lose the weight in a day, so I should at least be able to feel comfortable in the body I have now. I got a couple new outfits--that actually fit me (depressed at what size they were, but it felt good to finally know)--and made an effort to get ready in the morning. It was definitely the boost I needed at the time. Loving your body now is a hard concept to grasp--especially when you're trying to change it. But, I had told my husband one night, "At what point am I finally gonna be happy? When I see a certain number on a scale? 'Cause I used to see numbers I liked, and I still didn't appreciate what I had. When a certain piece of clothing fits?" I'm still asking myself those questions and working on that part of my journey. The fact is, I know my body is a gift from Heavenly Father and I know He's sad when I don't appreciate that gift. So... that being said, thank you for your post. I'm gonna work on that same thing this week. :)
-Jamie Taylor
I love the honesty of your post. I love the heartfelt soul searching that shifts your paradigm and helps you understand that you are a person to be loved - even, and especially by you! I love that you show gratitude for the gift of your body. I love that you try to improve that body and make it healthy. If you are working out harder right now, please remember that muscle weighs more, but if you keep working out and strengthening yourself and eating right, that same muscle helps you lose weight faster than you otherwise would. Hard concept to accept i the midst of losing. I know that because I've been dealing with weight gain recently, and I tend to say forget it then! And go out and eat something not as good. But when I get back on track, when I stick with the process, because I know and have faith that the process works, I see eventual real results (not a few water weight pounds here or there one way or another). You are so good, so brave, so inspirational. Keep at it, Robyn! You are really doing this! Aunt Jo
Hy Robyn This is Vicki a pal of Hope's from Chapin. Love y'alls blogs BTW. I have been on the lose weight/get fit train since January of 2012! My background is this. Weight will always be my struggle. I was overweight from around 3rd grade through high school. One year after I graduated highschool in 1996 a light switch turned on and I was able to drop 100lbs in the course of 9mo - Of course I was 18 going to school and working had no kids so I could just focus on me (it was so easy, not sure why it couldn't continue to be that easy lol). I pretty much kept that weight off until 2003. I got married in 2003 and immediately got preggers on the honeymoon!! Three kids and 8.5 yrs later there was again with the dang 100lbs!! This time the light switch was harder to activate, but January 2012 was the time for change I decided to start going to a BootCamp/Crossfit style gym and I LOVE it!! Its been a year and half and I still LOVE it. I have only lost 54lbs and really no weight lose since Feb of this year, but my body continues to change and the inches are still dropping. While I hate the dang scale and I so want the number to be less, I am greatful for how STRONG and FIT I am. REMEMBER SKINNY DOESN'T EQUAL STRONG!! Do not let the number on the scale define you! Keep up your journey!! Best Wishes
Oh I just love the comments you have above me.
Numbers don't define us. We are beautiful and made in Gods own image.
I think our goal should be to learn more about ourselves and care more about ourselves. You're doing just that.
Proud of you and thank you for sharing your journey. Each time you do, we all learn more about our own selves.
Love ya girl!!
Wow, just wow!!!! I am so thankful for all of your comments. I can't even express how much they mean to me. I love remembering that we are all on this crazy journey of life. We all struggle. We all have so much in common. I love sharing my journey. It's therapeutic! Thanks for following us and reading our blog. Thanks for sharing your journeys and supporting us!!! Thanks for reminding me why I wanted to do this blog. Thanks for continuing to motivate me. I feel so blessed!!!!
Have you ever had a celebrity sighting? Seeing someone you've never met but recognize them when you see them and feel like they should know you too? I remember seeing Kelsey Grammar in a Walgreens in Hawaii once. Cool. Yeah, I knew he wouldn't know me. Yesterday I was leaving the yogurt shop and a beautiful woman with long blond hair was leaving the Subway. She was in front of me and creepily I noticed that she had a Subway sandwich with baked chips. Good choice, thought I. Our parked cars were facing each other and when she turned around and I saw her face, I thought I know her! She's a celebrity! Aren't you ... could NOT think of her name. She smiled so sweetly and said she really did not recognize me. So gracious a celebrity. Probably a movie star who gets this all the time. I asked if she was Hope Corbitt's friend (couldn't even think of Hope's married name - ah, age :) ). She said yes and I put my arm out to hug her. I'm Aunt Jo! So fun to meet Robyn for the first time. You truly are beautiful, Robyn. Even moreso in person! Continue the journey. Stay strong. Love, Aunt Jo (no matter what the name above reads ...
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