Thursday, July 30, 2015

Butterflies ::: Robyn

It's been nearly 9 months since I had my thyroid removed. It has been a really big deal for me, life changing, and life defining. The thyroid is naturally the shape of a butterfly. It is often portrayed as a butterfly, especially by people who struggle with thyroid issues. I was never really a butterfly person before all of this, but now I recognize their beauty. The butterfly has become a symbol to me of what I lost. But, more importantly it is a symbol of what I can become.

The story of the butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.

One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.

He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it,

expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness

and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly

what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We would not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.

As I struggle to figure things out for myself, I think to myself of the butterfly. I picture myself squeezing through that little hole. Struggling, learning, growing, becoming better than I was yesterday or am today. I'm excited to see what I can become. I'm excited to learn through my struggle and when I'm ready to really fly.                                 

Day of surgery

This last week has been good. I've been tracking my calories most days. I've been to the gym several days. I'm really  happy to say that I lost 2 lbs this week. 

I feel like more importantly though, I have really started the healing process in my mind and soul. I don't think the physical healing can really come for me until I figure out my mental and emotional demons. As I move forward I hope I can share that with all of you. 

Back to my favorite poem and mantra in life:

I will ..... bend at it, sweat at it, smile at it too, for after the bend and the sweat and the smile, will come life's victories after a while. 

Because my body is a temple and I want to fly!

xoxo Robyn

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