Since I missed my blog post last week I have been thinking all week about what I would blog about this week. I had been thinking all week how I was going to title it the blog of shame. I was going to write about how discouraged I am, about how pathetic it is that I only lost half a pound last month, and how I hadn’t lost anything yet this month. Last Friday I was up a pound. I wasn’t inspired to share with all of you. I was feeling discouraged. Then Saturday morning I woke up, up another pound. Ugh. I was devastated really. But, somehow I pulled myself together. I decided not to focus on my slow progress and to just put in the work.
I read an article last week from one of my favorite bloggers about body image. I thought about sharing it, but decided against it, because I decided I disagreed with a lot of what she had to say. But, it made me really think. She talked about how she was happy with her body just how it was and wasn’t trying to change it. She talked about how striving to lose weight adds pressure to our lives. I found myself wishing that I could adapt her feelings. I wish that I could just be happy with my body and live my life not striving to change it. Trying to lose weight does add pressure to my life. But, the fact is, that I do want to change my body. It’s not completely because of body image or because I don’t love my body now. But, if I’m honest that’s part of it. I’m still working on that. But, most of the things really worth accomplishing and striving for in life add pressure. They are hard things and that is why they are worth so much. So, I once again found peace in my plight to lose weight. It’s for health, for a better happier me. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love myself now or that I will all of the sudden love myself when I reach my goal weight. That’s a whole other journey connected but separate from the number on the scale.
I had a really great week. I ate things in moderation. I didn’t completely cut anything out, I didn’t deprive myself. I really watched my portion sizes and I ate lots of fruit and veggies. I exercised everyday (well not Sunday, that’s my day of rest, the Sabbath day).
This morning I am down 2.5 pounds from last Saturday, which is half a pound to add to my total weight loss of now 25.5 pounds.
I am feeling really positive this week. I feel confident that I can make good choices and that I can finish this journey. Attitude is a choice. It’s such a huge part of success and happiness in this life. I have to remind myself of that often. Although, the last couple of months have been slow for me, I feel like I’m turning a corner. I’m excited to continue on. I’m not giving up.
P.S. last week we were in Cali again. It was wonderful and great family time but definitely added to my weight gain last week. I am so excited that I don’t have another trip on my calendar for 3 more weeks. I am thinking positive thoughts and hoping for 3 great weeks. Keeping on keeping on.