Since I missed
my blog post last week I have been thinking all week about what I would blog
about this week. I had been thinking all week how I was going to title it the
blog of shame. I was going to write about how discouraged I am, about how
pathetic it is that I only lost half a pound last month, and how I hadn’t lost
anything yet this month. Last Friday I was up a pound. I wasn’t inspired to
share with all of you. I was feeling discouraged. Then Saturday morning I woke
up, up another pound. Ugh. I was devastated really. But, somehow I pulled myself
together. I decided not to focus on my slow progress and to just put in the
work.
I read
an article last week from one of my favorite bloggers about body image. I
thought about sharing it, but decided against it, because I decided I disagreed
with a lot of what she had to say. But, it made me really think. She talked
about how she was happy with her body just how it was and wasn’t trying to
change it. She talked about how striving to lose weight adds pressure to our
lives. I found myself wishing that I could adapt her feelings. I wish that I
could just be happy with my body and live my life not striving to change it.
Trying to lose weight does add pressure to my life. But, the fact is, that I do
want to change my body. It’s not completely because of body image or because I
don’t love my body now. But, if I’m honest that’s part of it. I’m still working
on that. But, most of the things really worth accomplishing and striving for in
life add pressure. They are hard things and that is why they are worth so much.
So, I once again found peace in my plight to lose weight. It’s for health, for
a better happier me. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love myself now or that I
will all of the sudden love myself when I reach my goal weight. That’s a whole
other journey connected but separate from the number on the scale.
I had a really great week. I ate things in
moderation. I didn’t completely cut anything out, I didn’t deprive myself. I
really watched my portion sizes and I ate lots of fruit and veggies. I
exercised everyday (well not Sunday, that’s my day of rest, the Sabbath day).
This
morning I am down 2.5 pounds from last Saturday, which is half a pound to add
to my total weight loss of now 25.5
pounds.
I am feeling really positive this week. I feel
confident that I can make good choices and that I can finish this journey.
Attitude is a choice. It’s such a huge part of success and happiness in this
life. I have to remind myself of that often. Although, the last couple of months have been
slow for me, I feel like I’m turning a corner. I’m excited to continue on. I’m
not giving up.
P.S.
last week we were in Cali again. It was wonderful and great family time but
definitely added to my weight gain last week. I am so excited that I don’t have
another trip on my calendar for 3 more weeks. I am thinking positive thoughts
and hoping for 3 great weeks. Keeping on keeping on.
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